Category: Let's talk
I thought I'd bring up the topic so it could be taken off the "Adults" topic. Now, I'm curious. What do you think a clique is and why is it a bad thing? If people who are similar gather and it's not a clique, what is it, and how do you stop cliques from forming?
Why would you want to stop cliques from forming? If people are similar and want to gather and talk, wheather you call it a clique or something else why should it be stopped? People could say i have my little cliques on this site but that doesn't mean i won't or don't talk to anyone else because i do.
Hi Labyrinth,
Well in my opinion, a clique is different from a group, because people in a group will try to talk to anyone and at least give the person a chance before they decide they don't to know them, whereas with a clique, if you go in a room, or on a board, they are most likely to ignore you, because their attitude is more or less like, oh, I don't want to talk to you, you're not a part of my group. Where people in a group are friendly to allothers who are nice, and don't ignore you and put you off because you're not a part of their group. Well, that's my definition of a clique, and the difference between a group and a clique.
Wonderwoman
Well, Wonder, not sure if I agree on the whole with your point of view, although It's a valid one. I think I'm more in agreement with Bug. Cliques are just going to happen and are a natural thing. I just looked at the definition of the word at dictionary.com and it was defined as an exclusive group of people who shared similar goals or interests. Not the absolute exact words, but you can go there and check it on your own if you like. I'm not sure about the reasons why a new person would get ignored in a chat, as I am more in my element on message boards and e-mails and not live chats. It may not be a good idea to assume there's any bad intent there just because you might get ignored. Could anyone else point out the reasons why a new person might get ignored when trying to introduce themselves to a group?
Labyrinth .A newbie trying to join the Gothic scene might very well be ignored simply because they don't fit the criteria {yet} but if they are denied the right to join how can they be expected to fit in.its a vicious circle and Goths can be notoriously bitchy and unfriendly to those who aren't.
I hate cliques personally, and there is a huge difference between groups and cliques. Cliques are too damn snotty to let others visit with them, or be included, and groups are more than eager to let others join them. Thats my opinion, and I'm stickin to it! Haha
Well to quote a younger expression, right on, japanimangel, absolutely right on. On for the people, when someone would go in a room, the people mostly would keep talking as though the person who entered hadn't come in, even if they had jaws scripts, I mean, when I'd go in a room, they'd go, oh hey wonder, then jabber jabber jabber, like I was invisible, so when I got my own room, as soon as I could get a word in, I'd say, lets let this person talk. Even though I did have some people in my room that I didn't particularly care because of their attitude or personality, I always tried to let them talk, and if they spoke to me, I'd answer. That group from the senior center came in one night and took my room over, and I was pretty annoyed, but being on dial up, it was hard to get a word in edgewise, and I didn't really know how to handle it without blowing my top, but I can tell you, I was certainly glad they didn't come back, after all, they had their own room, so they could've gone there and talked amongst them selves without trying to make my room cliquish. I personally feel that if people want to be cliquish, they should have their own private little room. Of course, this can't apply to boards, since there's no way no one can have their own board on here. When I came on here, I posted a message in 3 different boards, and none of them got replied to, so I thought, ok, this site is cliquish. So I left for about 2 or 3 months, and only came back when I got a sight update through email, so I thought, well I'm curious, so I came back to see what changes had been made, and one good thing about being away from a sight for a long time, is when you come back, there are a whole lot more topics to choose from.
wonderwoman
I'm really glad that you came back!
thanks so much, I don't think anyone on here has ever said that to me, but it's nice. t'Thanks so much, and I'm glad you hate cliques too, lol
hahha no problem.
Wonderwoman, always feel free to say hi whenever you see me. That goes for anyone else on here. i hate cliques too, and if it seems that I stick to a few people, I really and truly don't mean too. I'd be more than happy to talk to any of my zoners!
Charis
Hi Charisma,
Thanks much, I believe I started a quick note conversation with you once, then someone else I use to talk to on for the people asked me a question, and I got distracted. I'm not brave enough to contact people first. it's one thing to get brave enough to post on boards, but when you pm them or quicknote them, you're making direct contact. If everyone were like me, no one would ever write to anybody, or talk to anybody, yet I admire people who take the chance and pm someone they've never spoken to directly. I don't join in the quicknotes, and have mine set to private, but I do answer a quicknote if it's sent to me, but except for a special buddy of mine, most of them seem to be from folks in their late teens and early 20's who are looking for someone to relieve their boredom, and they find out I'm not it, then just stop talking to me after 30 seconds without so much as a good bye, which leads me to wish I'd put my age in my audio profile. Oh well, too late now. Anyway, thanks Charisma, and have a good evening.
wonderwoman
In my oppinion a clique can be good or bad. Like for example there could be a group of people that call their selves the blind clique and I don't see anything wrong with that. So in my oppinion cliques can contain both good and bad people.
Troy
I hear what you're saying troy, and I don't see anything wrong with rooms that are designed for a special interest, so long the room name is specific about what the room is geared for, like sports group, parenting group, or rooms designed for hobbies that a certain group of people are interestedin, if you see rooms like that, you know not to go in those rooms if the topic doesn't interest you, but I'm talking about general rooms that are just for general chat, where this certain group of people take, and don't talk to anyone outside their circle, or just don't seem to notice anyone or anything outside their set or interest. Cliques on message boards aren't as bad, especially if they have their own boards or have boards for certain age groups. They just go to that board, and people stay in the other boards. I notice there aren't as many teens in here since the teen board was put up. I don't blame them, because if there were enoough 40 and up people, that's where I would go. And at least on boards, even if my posts getunnoticed, that doesn't have to stop me from posting, and if I'm in danger of exceeding the character limit, I can keep putting shorter posts under it, if I can think of that much to say. I love reading and rereading some of my posts anyway, because I get to read the posts of someone who thinks like I do, and agrees with me, heehee, the one and only, me, lol.
wonderwoman
when I had my room on for the people, there were people who were bad about keeping the mic when someone came in the room and not giving over. I'm on dial up, and a lot of people who did that were on broad band, so they could take advantage of that. When I could get the key long enough, I'd have to break in and say, lets let this person who came in talk. I always tried to talk to everyone who came in my room, but of course, some people are hard to talk to, and some I had issues with, making it awkward, but if I for some reason couldn't talk to them, I always made sure they got to talk, and let other people talk to them, and them to other people. I did everyone that way, even if there were some I couldn't stand.
wonderwoman
I don't see anything wrong with cliques. It just depends on who's in them.
A group is a bunch of people who have a lot in common and like hanging out together but are willing to let others join them. I'd consider my friends and I a group like that. But a clique is the same thing only closed. The theater people at my school are real snobs like that. They think they're better than everyone else.
How do you know the theater group think they're superior? Do you think that they just don't accept outsiders because they just think those people would not understand or appreciate what the group's about? It would be nice if all groups were democratic and accepted just anyone all the time, but that's not where humans are at now. People want to feel like they belong and are connected to others. But it seems in order for some people to be considered in the group, others have to be considered out of the group. Be happy you have a group of friends you do hang with and that you want to grow. Some people are happy with that. Others are happy with a smaller and more exclusive group and they're not excluding others just because they're mean and evil or think they're superior. If you don't have a group you can join, try to form one of your own if you can find likeminded folk. If not, be happy you're an outsider.
well, I still say the difference between a group and a clique is that although a group may have the same things in common, a clique will mostly exclude from you from the conversation if they don't feel you'reone of their group. I may be oversensitive, but it only takes being ignored once or twice to decide a group cliqish. When I had my room on for the people, there were a few of us regulars, and any time someone came in the room, either I or this one I talked to on a regular basis, always made sure that person was acknowledged, and we didn't mind changing the topic of conversation in order to include oracomadate the person. I found the public quick notes to be cliqish, that's the second reason why I don't have them on anymore.
wonderwoman
Well, I'm not going to criticize you or anyone for that. I don't really do live chats so I don't ahve to think much about people ignoring me. I expect to be ignored by most folks because I'm admittedly kind of strange, in a good way, and a lot of people don't take well to the unknown. Besides, I'm an intravert in the first place, and figure I'm more inclined to start a group of my own of like-minded folk rather than seek out somebody else's group.
well seeking out your own group is probably the best thing, I had the room pass word protected at first, but I was in the room a lot by myself, and it didn't get used much, even though I gave it to 14 people, and since we were paying for the room, if it didn't get used hardly ever, the money was going to waste, so thats why I made it public, also I thought it would give me the opportunity to run a room the way I thought it ought be run, since none of the others were. There are advantages and disadvantages to having your own room, and I found that running a room the way I think one should be run to be easier said than done.
wonderwomanprooved
In my opinion, a clique is a group that is closed except for people who are in it. Like a clique would be a close group of friends who flatly refuse to talk to anyoen else except themselves. Lol. I don't think there's erally any cliques on the zone, because everyone talks to everyone. I think a group of friends who gather due to teh same interests is just that; a group of friends. A clique has always been kind of a negative term I think.